The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2017 Part 1 10-5

 

Hey everyone, Drake, known online as Urtar Reviews here, and today I'm gonna be going over my least favorite hit songs of 2017. This was a good year for music, although not a great one. And yes I'm trying doing top 10 lists again lol. Normal disclaimers that this is all my opinion and songs have to be on either the Jan-Dec or Billboard Year End lists to make this list. 

10. Fake Love - Drake (Peak #8, Billboard Year End: #37, Jan-Dec Year End: #51) 

Drake is an artist who has grown on me over the years I've been paying attention to popular music. I used to think he sucked, but now I think he's usually pretty solid, and capable of greatness, but also capable of shit, like this song. The lyrics are just really boring and unimpressive, especially the horrible bar "I've been so down it look like up to me", but alsoa subjectDrake has beat to the ground at this point, and in better songs like God's Plan too. And Drake sounds really bored here too, like he doesn't care about this. Maybe he does, but he just comes across that way to me. But the real issue is the beat which is incredibly stiff, and just sounds off. This is in fact one of the worst beats I have ever heard Drake use. Oh well at least I like Passionfruit. 

9. 

And I present to you the biggest hit song of 2017 according to Billboard and the 3rd biggest hit of the entire 2010s, as well as #10 on the most recent Billboard GOAT list! 

9. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran (Peak #1, Billboard Year End: #1, Jan-Dec Year End: #1)

Ugh this fucking one. I actually enjoyed this at one point a while back, but then it got ruined by the insane overplay, which somehow has still not worn off. Every time I hear that damn chorus my ears get so annoyed. I also just genuinely hate the clunky incredibly stiff instrumental and Ed's dorky vocals. He made those work so much better last year with Shivers, a song I still love. Heck Shivers is just a much better version of this song in general. Also the "and now my bedsheets smell like you" line has always annoyed me and I'm not sure why. 

8. 

Trigger warning: discussion of suicide and depression. If you don't want to read about those things skip this entry. 

8. 1-800-273-8255 - Logic, Alessia Cara, Khalid (Peak #3, Billboard Year End: #31, Jan-Dec Year End: #22) 

Before I talk about this song, I'm gonna say I'm someone who has felt somewhat suicidal before. Not anything serious, and I got through it, but yeah I've been there, and I've been depressed multiple other times. Also, if this song helped you through depression, I'm glad it exists for your sake and that it helped you fight depression. But also as someone who has had suicidal thoughts before, this song feels like an attempt by someone who's never been depressed before to make a song about it, because it just has the barebones of what suicidal thoughts are like without having any details that would suggest the artists have been there themselves. Also what little good will I might have had towards Logic for making this song vanished when I heard Keanu Reeves. 

"Finally knew I made it, sittin' at the red light
When them soccer moms pull up in they van while I ride
Like, "Oh my God, children, it's the 1-800 guy"
But my doors suicide, yeah, I'm too alive"

Do I need to explain why?

7. 

Sam Hunt

7. Body Like A Back Road - Sam Hunt (Peak #6, Billboard Year End: #8, Jan-Dec Year End: #8) 

Southside by Sam Hunt is possibly the worst album I have heard from the 2020s so far (Yes this song was on a 2020 album, long story). It's so bad that this piece of trash, that is one this list is one of the best song on it. Rather than being incredibly asshole-y it's just stupid. But incredibly stupid, and sounding awful to boot so I can't get ironic enjoyment out of it. I know I've praised some country trap before like Fancy Like (which I still love by the way) but those had the decency of sounding good. The instrumental here sounds like a bad attempt at being a 2014 DJ Mustard produced rap song with awful gang vocals, awful guitar mixing, bad drum machines. It also just doesn't have the charm of Fancy Like or Cruise or Lil Bit. Oh and can we go back to the metaphor. Now, that metaphor wasn't dead on arrival, I mean, Rihanna made a great song with a similar concept in Shut Up And Drive. But this fails at doing so. Awful song that is somehow one of the best songs on the album it's on. 

6. 

Ever had a band that made one of your absolute favorite songs ever make one of the most annoying songs of the decade just four years later? Cause I have. 

6. Thunder - Imagine Dragons (Peak #4, Billboard Year End: #51, Jan-Dec Year End: #31) 

I don't hate the Evolve era as much as some people, I mean it's a bad album, but I never hated Believer (that song's mid by the way), Whatever It Takes is fantastic, and deep cut Rise Up is one of their best ever songs if you ask me. But yeah Thunder is the song from it that I not only hate the most, but one of the most annoying songs of the 2010s. Thunder is repeated 98 times in this bit more than 3 minute runtime. I'm normally not that annoyed by repetition, but this song goes way past the line for me. I also hate the fucking awful, pitch shifted vocals saying the word Thunder, and the weak ass fucking production attempting at an atmosphere it can't reach. But the biggest issue is that this is barely even an Imagine Dragons song. A lot of their signature elements are gone here, replaced with vapid annoying nothingness just made to be played on top 40 stations. Even with a lot of their singles afterward that I'm not a fan of or hate like Enemy or Follow You or Natural they feel much more like Imagine Dragons. 

5. 

You ever had an artist that seems like a cool person to be around and very nice, but you hate most of their music? 

5. Bad Things - Machine Gun Kelly, Camila Cabello (Peak #4, Billboard Year End: #41, Jan-Dec Year End: #55) 

Camila Cabello seems like a really friendly, cool person in real life, but I do not like her as an artist. I mean if she stays in her lower range like in Havana she can be good, but whenever she tries to sing high she loses me completely. While not her worst performance I've ever heard, Camila sounds AWFUL here, her hook is one of the worst of the year. The lyrics aren't that bad, but MGK's flow is horrible, he sounds like he's constantly tripping over himself. The production is bad too, but the biggest problem is again, Camila's hook. I cannot stand it! Oh and while I'm here, My Ex's Best Friend has cooled on me hard since my best list for 2021. 

Thanks for reading ! I'll see you next time! Urtar Reviews signing out!