My Top 10 Least Favorite Hit Songs of 2003

 

Hey everyone, been a while, but Drake, known online as Urtar Reviews here and today I am doing another worst list for 2003! My birth year! So how good an overall year for pop music do I think 2003 was? I think it might be my least favorite year of the 2000s decade for pop music. Not to say it's a terrible year, in fact there's a fair amount of songs I adore as we'll see on the best list. But the bad stuff really drags it down. Let's get into it!

Before I listened to this list, I did not realize that Natasha Bedingfield's brother had hits. Years before her first song hit the Hot 100. I was totally fine not knowing that because...

10. If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield

Snore. Snore. I am someone who has a soft spot for late 90s and early 2000's ballads like this.

And this still is so goddamn boring to me. Daniel Bedingfield is such a boring singer that just has such little personality.

And the instrumentation is also boring. And the lyrics are kinda dick-ish, which would be somewhat ignorable

for me if this song had anything interesting going on musically, but it doesn't. Leaving me focusing on the lyrics.

This song could be unwritten from existence and very little would change.

9. Ignition - R. Kelly

Ugh. R. Kelly. I don't like talking about him because honestly I think he is a good singer, but I can't listen to his music without feeling uncomfortable. But I mean, even though he does sound kinda good here, I do not like this production. Those horns are annoying. I especially hate the way he says "toot toot" "beep" "beep" But especially those lyrics. I'm sorry but I do not want to listen to R. Kelly comparing his girl to a car. For the 2nd time in a hit song of his. Or especially him putting his "key into your ignition"  But they are also cheesy in general. 

8. So Far Away - Staind

This one is interesting for me because I actually like the lyrics to this song about the lead singer battling addiction, and even though he is making real progress and proud of his progress he still is so far away from getting rid of his addiction. But, the problem is, everything else here sucks. I guess the guitar line during the verses isn't that bad, even if I don't like the singer's voice during them. But I hate this chorus a lot. His voice gets even worse than before during this part. And I do not like the guitar and drums during the chorus. They are very compressed in a way that sounds horrible to me.

My parents own an album by this next artist. They like him. This is a way that I am very different from them...

7. Your Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer

Oh boy John Mayer. I remember my parents playing the CD they owned by him a lot when I was growing up, the one with Bigger Than My Body and Daughters. And I did like some of that album then. But I went back and listened through it a while back and oh boy is it not good. Outside of one song Clarity which I still have a soft spot for. Now I actually don't remember hearing this one as much. And it's shit. I hate John Mayer's gravelly voice. It's incredibly annoying. But even worse is these horrible lyrics. Also known as the worst part of most John Mayer songs. This has to be one of the most pathetic attempts at sounding sexy I have ever heard in a song. If I was a girl and a dude sang to me about my lips being candy and my tongue being bubblegum that would probably kill the chances of me ever hooking up with him. But the bigger problem is that John Mayer sounds so goddamn smug and just like, not passionate at all. Like compare it to Perfect by Ed Sheeran for instance. Even if you don't like that song as much as I do, like, you got to admit that Ed at least sounds like he actually really loves his girlfriend because he puts a ton of passion into his vocal performance. John Mayer just sounds like he doesn't actually care about what he's saying because he delivers such a passionless vocal performance. 

6. Thoia Thoing - R. Kelly

At least Ignition had parts where R. Kelly sounds good even if it made me uncomfortable. This just has one of the most annoying choruses I've heard from this entire decade. Those pitch-shifted vocals saying "thoia thoing" are so goddamn annoying. Hearing that godawful sound repeated ad nauseum several times throughout this song makes this under 4 minute song feel like it lasts for several hours. 

5. Picture - Kid Rock, Sheryl Crow

Kid Rock is another artist that I hate basically everything I've heard from. Outside of maybe All Summer Long. I like Sheryl Crow, and her part is the only part I can tolerate of this. She sounds decent.  But her part of this just gives me the desire to go listen to If It Makes You Happy instead of hearing Kid Rock's horrible voice and being a total asshole in the lyrics. I get that his character in the song is trying to show regret for what he did to Sheryl's character but he doesn't sell it well. In fact, Kid Rock sounds so passionless on this song which is the exact opposite of what you need for a song like this. Like just compare this song to Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. That song was not only much better written but also had both singers sounding incredibly passionate and emotional. Kid Rock fails to convey the emotions he is trying to, by lack of even trying. 

4. Headstrong - Trapt

Oh yay metal (sort of). Technically it's nu-metal but in the heavier side compared to the Nu-metal I actually like (such as some Linkin Park). I've talked before about how metal is a genre that I have just never liked at all. It's just too loud for me 99.9 percent of the time completely overpowering the melody and just creating a sound I don't get any enjoyment out of. Chris Brown (no not that Chris Brown)'s vocals on this song are just torture. Especially when he screams throughout the track. And the instrumentation is incredibly compressed in a way that just hurts my ears to listen to. Incredibly unpleasant song that I despise. 

3. She Hates Me - Puddle Of Mudd

Puddle Of Mudd fucking suck. Or at least based on the two songs I've heard from them. This dude's voice is even worse than Chris Brown of Trapt's somehow. Hearing his voice is just so fucking irritating. And it has the same over compression of instrumentation that I fucking despise from Headstrong. With horrible vocals as well. All I really have to say. 

Talking about this artist on a list like this, I do feel a little bit guilty now with what happened, but at the same time, he made this song so...

2. Beer For My Horses - Toby Keith, Willie Nelson

First of all, rest in peace Toby Keith. I won't act like talking about him here doesn't give me some amount of guilt. And I mean there are a couple songs I like from him, like My List for instance. But like, he made this song. Although to be honest the first time I listened through the Year End list for this year I thought this song was fine. I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics like I usually do on my first listen of songs, and I thought the instrumental track was pretty decent and the singers sounded competent. And if not for what I will get into in a second, I do think this song would be decent to good. It's got a good guitar riff and both singers sound solid. But, what I noticed a few listens in is uh, well, this is a lynching anthem. These two white dudes from the South see blacks out in the streets committing crimes because they have to in order to fight the racism against them, and go "you are committing evil" and decide to take what they think is justice into their own hands and start hanging them out in the streets after shooting them to send the message to the other blacks just doing what they have to in order to make it in a system that is rigged against them. That is the kind of thing that I cannot just turn my brain off and ignore when listening to this song. As a white person myself, we need to start making up for the injustice we have done to people of color for no reason other than the color of their skin, a laughable reason, not continuing to do said injustice. And I'm sorry but when I hear these two men talking about "raising their glasses against evil forces" while they are literally continuing the injustice this country has committed against people of color for no reason other than something that literally doesn't matter, the color of their skin is the kind of thing that makes me want to fucking Toby Keith and Willie Nelson in the face. And I am a very peaceful person. I want to make this clear, in a lot of years this song would top this list easily. But unfortunately, 2003 was not one of those years. But before we find out what absolute atrocity was even worse, some dishonorable mentions. 

DM. Superman - Eminem, Dina Rae

I've heard that The Eminem Show is Eminem's best album and based off of songs like Cleanin' Out My Closet, Sing For The Moment and Till I Collapse there's a decent chance I might agree if I listened to his discography. But this one is a real stinker. Way too long, incredibly obnoxious, and kinda sounds nauseous. 

DM. Step In The Name Of Love - R. Kelly

This didn't make the list because I actually like the production on this song. But I just don't want to hear about R. Kelly hitting up ladies at a club. Especially with him saying "And I would like to welcome you to the Chocolate Factory, this album was designed to make you feel good". Ew. Just ew. 

DM. Can't Stop, Won't Stop - Young Gunz, Chingy

I hate this popping beat. Just sounds so horrible. 

DM. My Front Porch Looking In - Lonestar

Lonestar.

DM. Wanksta - 50 Cent

I don't know what to say about this one it just irritates me. 

DM. This Is The Night - Clay Aiken

Possibly my least favorite American Idol winner hit. I just don't like Clay Aiken's voice. 

DM. Air Force Ones - Nelly, Murphy Lee, Alli, Kyjuan

The way he says "big boy" is very annoying and that beat has aged like shit. 

DM. Can't Let You Go - Fabolous, Mike Shorey, Lil' Mo

Bedstrings.

DM. Bump, Bump, Bump - B2K, Diddy

Another one I don't know what to say about. Just annoying. 

DM. Drift Away - Uncle Kracker

Uncle Kracker. 

DM. Right Thurr - Chingy

To be honest, I kinda have a soft spot for Holidae Inn (probably mostly nostalgia). But this one is just annoying. 

DM. The Remedy (I Won't Worry) - Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz.

DM. Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake 

Probably my biggest hot take on this list outside of a certain song not being here (more on that later). I do not like this song. The beeping sound effects are so annoying, the beat is so stiff, and JT doesn't sound good here. 

When I was deciding the order of this list I had to think about which of two songs among my least favorites I have ever heard would come out ahead. Which of two songs I find incredibly offensive I despise more. And in the end, I decided to put Beer For My Horses #2 because it at least has a decent melody and vocals. Which I cannot say about...

1. Have You Forgotten? - Darryl Worley

Honestly though, personally I find this song even more offensive too because it goes against my own nature as a human being. I am a very peaceful person who fucking hates the idea of war. Hearing this song that so blatantly supports war for the sake of war is just incredibly anti-me and what I stand for. But let's back up. This song is about 9/11. And our towers falling. And essentially Darryl Worley (which by the way is a horrible fucking name) is using the horrible trauma of 9/11 to rile up the listeners to make them want to fight in war and support people dying because a lot of people in this world refuse to compromise or agree on things that are best for all of us. Darryl Worley is a tyrant, stirring up people to do his bidding by reminding them of the trauma from an incident that was let's remember, caused by war! If we as a species had not been so driven to fight against each other 9/11 would have never happened. But the line that especially makes this clear is "They took the footage off my TV, said it's too disturbing for you and me. It'll just breed anger, that's what the experts say. If it was me, I'd show it every day." Bruh. I still can't believe that this is a line in a song that hit the top 40 of the Hot 100. Dude acknowledges that the experts, people who know better than him in this topic want the footage off the TV because it will just create unnecessary hate that will lead to more hate and destruction, and then says that he would want it to be shown every fucking day. You fucking monster! Worst lyric of the decade. Oh and on a musical level, Darryl is in the Jason Aldean tier of country singers. I cannot stand the sound of this dude's voice. And that instrumentation is godwful too. But that isn't anywhere close to the reason this is here this high. It's the lyrics. I consider this one of the most offensive songs I have ever heard, and it's probably my third least favorite song I have ever heard! Have You Forgotten? by Darryl Worley! My pick for the Worst Hit Song of 2003!

Thanks for reading. I'll see you next time. Urtar Reviews signing out.