My Top 5 Least Favorite Hit Songs of 2023

 Hey everyone, Drake from Urtar Reviews here and today I am doing a list of my Top 5 Least Favorite Hit Songs of 2023! How was 2023 popular music? While on a quality level it was overall pretty good, this year for the Billboard charts felt like this line from Tubthumping by Chumbawamba. "Truth is, I thought it mattered I thought that music mattered" But does it? Bollocks!" Just like 2022 the charts were incredibly stagnant and just not very interesting. Although there were the occasional things happening that were more interesting like the regional mexican trend and old songs having huge runs. Also most of the worst hits of this year just don’t give me much to say and there also wasn’t that much music I truly hated this year, which is why I am only doing a Top 5 worst list. Alright, let’s get into the list!

5. 

So remember Take Me To Church by Hozier? How good that song was? Well imagine if someone who sounded like a mix of the Arcade guy and X Ambassadors tried to cover it? While that’s not too far from…

5. Daylight - David Kushner

“Mom we want Hozier” “Kids we have Hozier at home” Seriously though this song is so bad. It’s so draining to listen to. David Kushner sounds horrible in music like this, he’s oversinging so fucking hard. And the bleak instrumentation doesn’t help. But also the lyrics are so goddamn vague. Like he talks about how they’re hiding their sins from the daylight but he doesn’t mention why or what those sins are. All I really have to say about this one.

4. TRUCK BED - Hardy 

This is just a really bad bro country song and I say that as a bro country defender. It just fucking sounds off, like the kind of music to throw up to. It sounds like a country version of I Ain’t Worried by One Republic which is a big insult. Hardy is a terrible singer and the country trap production is awful. And the lyrics are utterly generic. But also this song is kinda the opposite of his other hit this year but we’ll get to that later…

3.  Rich Men North Of Richmond - Oliver Anthony

The thing about this song is that Oliver Anthony has a point. I currently live at my parents’ house in one of the most expensive states to live in in the US (California), and my family has been struggling more than ever before financially and barely getting by because of the price inflation, and we’re a middle class family. Because of this I am probably going to move out of state in the next few years because I do not love California enough to pay the premium to live here. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for people in lower class families right now. Meanwhile the people who are rich and already have everything they need and infinitely more, just keep getting richer. But here’s the problem: this song is terribly written and utterly fails at being a political song. For example he refers to the politicians in DC as “Rich Men North Of Richmond” causing people from other areas north of Virginia to be offended when he didn’t intend that. That could have easily been avoided with a rewrite. And then he goes on a whole rant about obese people that just comes out of nowhere and just doesn't fit with the song. And worse yet this song was taken up by Republicans, who literally let the rich get away with not paying taxes meanwhile the poor have to pay more than they would otherwise. Not the song or Oliver Anthony’s fault but that’s also soured me on the song even further. And also he doesn’t do a call for action or talk about solutions or anything.Or even how he’s remaining optimistic and trying to get through this obstacle.  If you want better music about being pissed about the state of our economics, listen to the album Brave Faces Everyone by Spanish Love Songs (although be warned it is very heavy). 

2.

While we didn’t get any actual Sam Hunt hits this year (thank god), we did get some in spirit. Including one that reminds me a bit of Take Your Time, joy…

2. Wait In The Truck - Hardy, Lainey Wilson 

This song is Hardy trying to act like “such a nice guy” by saving a victim of abuse, and then turning around and literally killing the abuser. Lainey Wilson as the victim even says “I don’t know if he’s an angel, cause angels don’t do what he did” But the bridge is what truly pisses me off: “It's been sixty months and she still comes

To see me from time to time

It was worth the price to see a brighter side

Of the girl I picked up that night

And I might be here forever

It ain't paradise, that's true

But it's a whole hell of a lot better

Than the place I sent him to

Yeah”

Dude you only saved her from the abuser because you loved her. Not because you know, it’s the right thing to do or anything. DON’T FUCKING TRY TO ACT LIKE A NICE GUY. It also just sounds awful, absolutely draining to listen to. Hardy is a terrible singer and he has zero chemistry with Lainey. And Lainey also sounds awful, much worse than on her own music or the much better collab she had in 2022! Before we get to my number one, we shall go over some dishonorable mentions.

DM. One Thing At A Time - Morgan Wallen

I didn’t hate most of Wallen’s hits this year as much as his previous ones strangely, that is how he avoided the top 5. But I mean, most of them were still pretty bad. This is one of the better sounding ones I guess but I also hate the lyrics more so shrug.

DM. Search & Rescue - Drake

This is just a super boring song that at random points actually becomes interesting because of incredibly cringy bars like the Pitbull reference or the American Express line. And of course the sample of Kim Kardashian for some reason.

DM. Lovin On Me - Jack Harlow 

The more I hear from Jack Harlow the more I’m convinced his Industry Baby verse was a fluke. Shame.

DM. Thought You Should Know - Morgan Wallen

I can’t believe you’re still on the radio either Morgan, given what you did.

DM. Thinkin Bout Me - Morgan Wallen

I imagine this is how Fancy Like sounds like to people who hate it. 

DM. Last Night - Morgan Wallen 

This sounds like something that was cut from Overexposed by Maroon 5, and made more country, and as a Maroon 5 defender who likes that album this is so much worse than anything on it. How did this song manage to be so uninteresting and maddeningly catchy at the same time?

DM. I Wrote The Book - Morgan Wallen

I’m so fucking tired of Morgan Wallen at this point. As much as I still hate songs like Sand In My Boots, I at least get the appeal.

DM. Ain't That Some - Morgan Wallen 

Yes this is some shit.

DM. Slime You Out - Drake, SZA

If not for SZA this snoozer might have made the list proper. The fact this made the Year End and Low didn’t is fucking depressing.

Okay so remember Fly Over States? A song where Jason Aldean talks about how there’s more than meets the eye to states between the two coasts such as Kansas and Indiana and does it in the worst way possible by basically shitting on city folk saying that “they’d never understand the hardships of country life” because they are spoiled and never have any problems, so in other words shows a very twisted view of the world? Well, man I guess we had it lucky in 2012…

1. Try That In A Small Town - Jason Aldean

Jason Aldean is one of my least favorite musicians ever. At least artists like Chris Brown and Morgan Wallen have a song or two I think is good. I’ve heard over fifteen songs from Aldean and I don’t consider any to be even passable! His fucking awful gravelly voice that I despise, the fact he’s a racist, sexist piece of shit, his lyrics are always terrible, I could go on. And this of course is the worst song I’ve heard from the guy, and if he somehow has a song worse than this on one of his albums I would be utterly amazed, and one of the worst songs I have ever heard. On the level of how much I hate the morals this is the worst song to make a Billboard Year End list since Have You Forgotten? by Darryl Worley and it might even be worse than that song. This is a song about how “a lot of shit that flies in the city won’t fly in a small town, because people in small towns take care of their own”. First of all, if you did even take care of your own well, that shows a fucking massive level of bigotry where ONLY PEOPLE WHO FALL UNDER THAT BANNER ARE ALLOWED TO BE SAFE IN YOUR VIEW AND SCREW THE BILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. Second, YOU FUCKING SAY LATER ON THAT GUN ROUNDUPS ARE ONE OF THE THINGS YOU FUCKING SAY WON’T FLY IN A SMALL TOWN WHICH LITERALLY GOES AGAINST THE FACT THAT YOU SAID THAT SMALL TOWNS ARE SAFER! SO IN OTHER WORDS YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE! Third, Jason Aldean is not even from a small town. He is from Macon, Georgia, the 4th most populated city in Georgia, which is the 8th most populous state in the US, and Macon has a population of over a hundred and fifty thousand people. There are several states that have no cities with as high a population as Macon. The only other places he’s lived according to the internet are Nashville, the most populated city in Tennessee and the 21st most populated city in the country, and Homestead, Florida, a medium city very close to Miami, which is the 44th most populated city in the country. And of course he didn’t even write the song, like almost every song he’s ever recorded. In fact to prove my point, I decided to look through all his albums and count how many songs he actually has writing credits on. I counted, across his eleven albums, three songs with writing credits from him. And then of course there’s the racist fucking shit about him getting mad about people cussing cops and burning the US flag which I’m sorry there is NO WAY TO INTERPRET THAT OTHER THAN IT BEING ABOUT THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT IN 2020 which is fucking loathsome. And the line about people crossing that line which is a reference to when there were fucking lines between the black and white sides of town during Jim Crow because why not fucking make the song even more fucking racist. Oh yeah and there’s also the line “good ol’ boys, raised up right” that is referencing an annual racist event in Tennessee. Or the fact that he mentions sucker punching somebody on a sidewalk, which is a myth made up by White Southerners that has been used to stir up anger amongst racist white people in the south, the myth being that sucker punching people on sidewalks is a popular game amongst black people, and that they only target white people. Or the fact that the music video is right in front of a Tennessee courthouse known for the lynching of Henry Choate in 1927.And literally shows footage of the Black Lives Matter movement SO DON’T EVEN TRY AND ARGUE THIS SONG ISN’T RACIST.  Us white Americans need to fucking make up for the all the fucking shit we have done to black people for NO REASON OTHER THAN THE COLOR OF THEIR FUCKING SKIN and atone for our past sins and the fact that there are so many people in this goddamn country who still think black people are inferior to whites makes me angrier than I can put into words. This song is an anthem to the worst kind of American, and while I hate another song from 2019 more for personal reasons, and so this is not quite my least favorite song ever, there is no song I have ever heard that makes me more ashamed to be a citizen of The United States Of America, the country of hypocrisy. Try That In A Small Town by Jason Aldean, by far the worst hit song of 2023 and one of the worst hit songs ever probably. 

Thanks for reading! I'll see you next time!